an interesting correlation between a husband's happiness and a wife's misery.

Something I've noticed recently is an interesting correlation between a husband's happiness and a wife's misery.

You can call this the 'happiness scale' ( ya i know its not very original)

The more a husband is happy the more the wife seems to be miserable

and

The more a wife is happy the more the husband seems to be miserable

Its interesting, very funny, how that happens. So you see,over a long period of time, most wives compromising on their happiness so that their husband will be happy and 'fulfilled' , although they would never admit it.

the wife is holding the baby or sitting at home or at a job that doesnt meet her needs while the husband is on top of the world enjoying life and achieving his dreams...

Does it take some one else being miserable for you to be happy? 

??????

most people are very clear about what they dont want

                                                                  but they are not very clear about what it is that they actually want


maybe its what you dont want that determines what you want but then what if what you dont want is used as a covering sheet on a bed which has no bed sheet ; you might have comfort and rest with the covering sheet but you're still on a bare mattress.

people

its amazing how you can be so close to someone, talk to them, respect them  but then some one else tells them something about you and there is a misunderstanding and then you feel , you know that something is not right
they think about you differently
they might not treat you differently but you know somethings different in how they look at you, how they are  with you

you can do everything right, you can fulfill all expectations , you can be the nice girl, the good girl, but then somebody labels you and insults you and other people, people you trusted, they believe it????!!!!!!

we have relationships, we build up trust and then the little things come along, others come along and in a moment that relationship is shattered...
people chose to believe some one else over us...

what do we do then?
do we stay quiet or do we face confrontation?   it will never be the same...

is it that what we did changed everything? or peoples' perceptions changed everything?  and if i want to do something why should i not do it because someone else doesnt agree with it?!

technically i should be able to do whatever i want...and other people creating misconceptions about me shouldnt prevent me from doing what i want...!

exposed

just because you dont see something doesnt mean its not there.
just because ur not exposed to something doesnt mean its not there.

so you need to be exposed to everything, see everything and then make choices.

you cant make blind choices. or can you?

LOVE

we all wait for it. we all long for it.

we desire it.

intimacy. but it requires opening up to someone. letting them in to ur vulnerable, dark side...
would they stick around if they knew these sides to you?

or is it all just about loving and then losing. cause losing is apart of life.  nothings permanent.

Opposites

i used to think that life was simple..good and bad...right and wrong....

but life is never like that...

the good is actually bad

the bad is actually good

what is 'good'? 'bad'?

good may seem bad
bad may seem good

or is it all just word play?

in life it seems that everyone who is dishonest, lying, lustful and hurtful gets what they want and more but everyone who is honest, pure, caring doesnt get even the little things they want, the things they have always desired...!!!!!!!!!!

abstract

Plato's cave theory really got me thinking. The absolute vs the subjective. what we see in life is a shadow of what is really out there. we see life through our own eyes, our own perspectives..

what if we took out our eyes and looked at the world through someone else's eyes?  our perception will change but reality and the absolute wont change. what we see will continue to be different to what really is. but maybe what one person sees is closer to the truth than what another person sees.

and thats the other thing - is truth subjective or absolute? one wonders. 

Is it all just about perception?

What is normal?

What is abnormal?

for e.g 

We expect fidelity in relationships seeing it as normal / monogamous relationships

But what if fidelity is actually abnormal?  And infidelity is normal- polygamous

the moral structures that we have built up in our little worlds seem to be crumbling down but the point is that what if these moral structures were misconceptions to begin with..

we start somewhere..we have assumptions, our expectations but what if the starting line was drawn incorrectly...what if the foundation of the house was not proper...the bricks seemed strong at the time but they wet and shattered inside...the whole world you build up on certain ideals can come crashing down...